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A week ago one of my close friends asked a question that i thought was worth talking about. He inquired about how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes - even when things are going great. In fact it is not an easy question to reply to considering that it varies from person to person. There are literally entire books which have been written on that topic alone. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears generally involves lowering the gradient. Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will not succeed. If you keep trying it over and over you may start building up a "complex" regarding failing, and soon stop trying anymore. If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary - not really impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences jumping that high you will fail too. The correct approach is to take the initial step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most secure way to climb a ladder. Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears which pop up in meeting women and dating women: As most guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. This can be especially frightening. Therefore I am approaching an attractive woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how gorgeous she is and how much I am attracted to her (which exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and just say "Hi." If a girl likes you or has an interest in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then i know she has no interest in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - so I don't feel shot down in front of other people. If I am starting to date a woman and I am afraid of taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don't ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just listen to music at my home. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my place. Or instead of trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will begin touching me back to give me the go ahead signal. These are some examples. When you feel awkward and scared just try to think of a lower gradient that isn't as scary and enables you to make forward progress toward your ultimate goal. If you do this you will learn how to meet women and how to connect with them in a short time. Ways To Attract Women - Mixed Signals And Flirting How to successfully handle a woman who is sending confusing flirtations - and how to spot a woman who is flirting just for fun. Enjoyable, Romantic Weekend Guidelines Romantic breaks are good for us after the stress of the work week, but they do not need to be expensive, do not have to involve travel, and do not have to last the whole weekend, although if you can manage the time, it'll probably be good for you. Two Or Three Fundamental Things You Need To Know About David Deangelo And Double Your Dating I give David Deangelo and Double Your Dating a 6 1/2 out of 10 rating because the "Cocky and Funny" stuff although workable, isn't situational and doesn't work as good as Mr. L. Rx's stuff (Dating To Relating) which I find to be the best overall system. 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Times have changed. Online dating is not only IN the mainstream, it IS the mainstream. What You Should Promote In Your Totally Free Dating Ads Totally free dating profiles will give you an idea of a dating prospect before you make any moves. You can see their appearance, how old they are, what their occupation is, and what their hobbies and interests are. Online Flirting - A Different Art Form Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for "brick and mortar" flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting. Common Internet Dating Activity For Men Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas. |
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